Living under open heaven

Finally had sometime to pen down my thoughts..  Straight after conference i was called to share to my family about my faith. I was highly  frustrated by the spiritual apathy I was seeing in my family.   It was an accumulation of events and arguments that added on to some sense of injustice that was growing in my heart.  What made it all the more infuriating was that I couldn’t find anyone to point fingers at apart from my own lack of deliberation in bring them closer to Christ.  Why do I get to rejoice in the matters of God without my heart getting broken at those who do not?   And on that Sunday night I was tearing up while singing "lord i give u my heart..", c rying out in desperation that my whole family will be saved.  There's no other way but through Jesus, relying on my own strength alone is impossible, but only through divine partnership.. God, please send people to speak your love and grace into them for I am inadequate in ...

The Master was searching for a vessel to use; On the shelf there were many - which one would He choose? Take me, cried the gold one, I'm shiny and bright, I'm of great value and I do things just right. My beauty and luster will outshine the rest And for someone like You, Master, gold would be the best! The Master passed on with no word at all; He looked at a silver urn, narrow and tall; I'll serve You, dear Master, I'll pour out Your wine And I'll be at Your table whenever You dine, My lines are so graceful, my carvings so true, And my silver will always compliment You. Unheeding the Master passed on to the brass, It was widemouthed and shallow, and polished like glass. Here! Here! cried the vessel, I know I will do, Place me on Your table for all men to view. Look at me, called the goblet of crystal so clear, My transparency shows my contents so dear, Though fragile am I, I will serve You with pride, And I'm sure I'll be happy in Your hou...

I am not afraid of failure. I am only afraid of succeeding at things that don’t matter.

At times I may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged, Knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job. For who am I to serve You? I know I don't deserve You. I ask you: "How many times will you pick me up, When I keep on letting you down? And each time I will fall short of Your glory, How far will forgiveness abound?" And You answer: "My child, I love you. And as long as you're seeking My face, You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient grace." As I walk with You, I'm learning what Your grace really means. The price that I could never pay was paid at Calvary. So, instead of trying to repay You, I'm learning to simply obey You By giving up my life to you For all that You've given to me. Thank you Lord, how many times we've failed, still your mercy remains…  The short met up with a sister was a powerful encounter and sharing.  I learnt so much from her. Thankful that we are bought together as good friends.  Listening...

"Please don't go just because God commanded you. I want you to go because you are so loved...that you can't do anything but say yes." https://vimeo.com/130415359 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9L5Ibg_aCd4

Do you ever experience times when you procrastinated, and just wanted to stay at home, lying on your comfy bed and not get out of the house doing His work? Well, I just experienced it today... My legs were sore due to hours of walking yesterday, and I just wanted some rest on the Sunday night, watching some movies, and basically, just not doing anything at all. Knew very clearly that there is a Geylang prayer walk tonight but yet my heart wasn't aligned with Jesus, contemplating if I should go with that tired body of mine. I literally dragged my feet to change clothes and make myself leave the house to go to the bus-stop, and simultaneously giving excuses of why I deserve a rest and go back. On honest reflection, there is a real temptation of the mission field, to compromise on upholding one's values as no one is there to question. But yet I knew so clearly His will is greater than my feelings, and for the sake of the world, the broke...

It's been 2 years and we're still growing and learning from one another. So thankful to see how much you've grown in your love for God and for people. My greatest contentment as your mentor.   Went to Kallang WaterWay with MeiYen. Loving the scenery and never knew there is this part of Singapore. Nature brings me closer to you, that You are everywhere.   Spontaneous photoshoot and so amazed by her skills. (jawdrop) Refreshed once again. The best part of holidays. :)

Thank you Lord.. My neuro module, I cant believe I got a B instead of C+ or even fail! God, what's happening to me! This time round i get much much better than last semester, but yet my heart is not filled with gratitude or intense joy that burst to tears compared to last sem.. what's going on? I dont wanna take this sem results for granted Lord. This is a gift. U wanted me to carry on to Year 4, to be a blessing to the NUS and MDIS ministry, to love people genuinely like you do, to lay down my rights for you and your people like you do, to be devoted to you. These are my goals for my final year in NUS. Lord, it would be almost impossible or a miracle to hit the bar, i know you will give me what is sufficient, and studying in NUS, in Singapore, is already a privilege. As of what apostle paul had said, "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any or every situation, whether well fed or hungry,...

I'd lose it again. Sorry God.  I can't even recognize my tone just now when I spoke to my parents that way. Regardless whether I'm wronged, I should choose to speak life, especially knowing that I am the only   Christ ambassador at home, I'm the way to show them by example what Christianity is about.  I need to learn and respect the fortitude it takes to keep a family together, and have it grip my heart the next time an argument approaches. I need to learn the commitment of love, beyond my own emotions, and be "slow to speak and angry". A love that is not easily angered nor keeps a record of wrong. On days like these I realize in my heart my own ugliness and the dark restlessness beneath the surface. I realized the more we desire God, the more aware we are at our fallen-ness. The closer I am to God, the more illuminated my shortcomings become. However, the holy spirit will only convict us of guilt and not shame, with the understanding that it is all abo...

haha! I guess the title just caught your attention, and probably mine years to come.. :''D Thinking that it's necessary to pen this down, rare to have such hilarious and embarrassing moment come by in my adulthood. LOL Went for weekly dance practice as usual, and at the end of it, Marcus requested everyone to do a freestyle solo with a completely foreign music he has chosen. I was stunned. I'm like "Oh God, Sorry I'm gonna run." But before I could react, he off the lights and wanted us to close our eyes and just flow with the music. I really wish it was as easy as he said. Marcus was the first and he is really gifted! I was like, " WHOA! WHAT WAS THAT?!" and followed by Natasha, totally rockin it well, and i was thinking the same, "WHOA! WHAT WAS THAT?!" and also XinRu, enjoying the groove and kept me thinking, "WHOA! WHAT WAS THAT?!" They were all so zai and I was praying hard that I'm not next... Guess w...

Blessings! $500 pledged and was rather financially tight for the past week. I must admit I wasn't fully at peace with this decision I've made, though I'm sure there's no regret, and I would obey regardless the cost.. I see how His sovereignty come to pass, when He blessed me through people such as Liwei, Matthew and Fira, who treated me with meals and drinks, when I needed it the most. Not just that, the total amount of HongBao I've received from my sis' wedding and allowance adds up to exactly the amount I pledged for the book!! Praise God! It could only be Him. This totally feels like Christmas! The whole giving and receiving spirit. And I can only experience the true joy of what it means to "be more blessed to give than to received" when I choose to obey and give out of my comfort zone. Such great testimony cannot be withhold. Thank you Lord! When I chose to step out of the boat, you showed me your miracles. :) Was reminded of a conversat...

        A Post to commemorate the most significant day in my very dear sister's life. Our old photos portrayed my childhood pretty well, with you always being there watching over me. Thank you for the respect and love all these years since my infancy, always believes, protects, and perseveres. And that your love will perseveres, hopes and believes in your marriage and for your future children.   For the past 21 years, I have never seen you smile this way, until you met him. And have never seen you burst into tears of joy, until you met him. You choking on your tears while you said your vows implied the many tangible moments you two have gone through together for the past 8 years. I don't understand that kind of love between a couple, and could never imagine myself tearing on my marriage day, perhaps is because I have not yet fallen in love with someone yet. The only one I'm totally in love with now is Jesus Christ, and...

The church is not a collective for winners; it is specifically for losers. It’s a hospital for broken souls, an island of misfit toys. A God who has died – has known losing and brokenness and nakedness –   A God who has died has no time for the lie of perfection. Anyone who now or evermore   Will not have a single flaw or problem in life may pass on by;   All others are welcome here. Need we add: “All” means “All” without a single equivocation. I know it sounds odd,   Since we’re sitting in this gorgeous building dressed in our good clothes,   But the church is a home for the sick and suffering, the tired and oppressed. It is a place of honesty where we are seen for what we really are before God,   Where we bring everything we have, the good and the bad together,   And just let it be, in the presence of Almighty Mercy. Failures, ne’er-do-wells, underachievers, washouts, lemons, flops, and freaks   Are all welcom...

'What price are you willing to pay to fulfil God’s mission in your life?'

Guitarist for my first dialect group! Very different experience. I was so panicking initially as the elderly were singing offbeat and I couldn't catch up with them. Later figuring out it's okay, it is His presence that counts. Always thought that dialect service is a way that I can give back to God, but today I've received so much. God used this LG session to touch me through their testimonies. How auntie Esther and her husband came to know the Lord, when they were persecutors in the past, and even forbid their son from going church, smashing his guitar twice. She said only God has the ability to bring them to church and crossing the line of faith. Their son alone will not able to do that. It spoke a lot to me and gives me faith and strength to keep my parents in prayer. That one day our whole family will come to know Him, and experience the joy and peace I've experienced. Thank you Lord that you never fail to refresh me and humble me. 

last night restructuring makes me rethink what does body of Christ truly mean. Wanted to join an all girls group, so that it's more comfortable for me to serve and support as a core-team member. Also, is easier to for me to be vulnerable and also disciple them.. Bring it up to Jun Liang, but I was placed in a guy-dominated group still. Feeling rather affected and didn't know the right way to response seeing the restructuring list on the screen. The same fears and insecurities I have with guys surfaced out again. Telling God that I want to be intentional in reaching out and disciple people as a senior and as a support to Rebby, but yet, is tough to disciple guys, judging from my past experiences. And the whole subject of boundaries being bought up again, an issue that I often tired of, having to be extra cautious with my words, when all my heart is just to love them as a sis-in Christ, but yet, I know I have to guard my heart and words. As I was pouring ...