Go- fest 2015

Do you ever experience times when you procrastinated, and just wanted to stay at home, lying on your comfy bed and not get out of the house doing His work?
Well, I just experienced it today...

My legs were sore due to hours of walking yesterday, and I just wanted some rest on the Sunday night, watching some movies, and basically, just not doing anything at all.

Knew very clearly that there is a Geylang prayer walk tonight but yet my heart wasn't aligned with Jesus, contemplating if I should go with that tired body of mine. I literally dragged my feet to change clothes and make myself leave the house to go to the bus-stop, and simultaneously giving excuses of why I deserve a rest and go back.

On honest reflection, there is a real temptation of the mission field, to compromise on upholding one's values as no one is there to question.

But yet I knew so clearly His will is greater than my feelings, and for the sake of the world, the brokenhearted, the captives, the ones in bondage, I must lay my rest at the foot of the cross. I've experienced it for myself, how much I've learnt about God through this ministry, about His heart for the people. He is so close to the brokenhearted! Is also a time that I can experience Him outside of church. Christians know God so well in the church, what about outside of church? in the streets that are dark spiritually? And I know seeing and participating in His kingdom is such a privilege for a sinner such as me. 

Like the usual prayer walk, I'll follow the missionaries, and pray by myself. To be honest is quite comfortable to lay back and just receive, watch how God moves, be amazed and learn something new about this loving God. However, when you are at the giving end, having to be used out of your comfort zone, you will be left even more in awe to witness how God have used you. 

As this was the Go-Fest 2015 season, a group of international missionaries came to YWAM-Singapore Tamar Village to join us for our prayer walk tonight. There were about 50 of them and due to a lack of Singaporean prayer warriors, I was assigned to lead a group of 3, an American and 2 Japanese missionaries to the red light district and meet the needs of the ladies working there. Not knowing where I'm getting myself into, I instantly said yes and led them to the streets of Geylang where they are unfamiliar with. 

Knowing that they were older than me, and are attending DTS; disciple training school, had countless street evangelism experiences suddenly got me insecure when they asked me where am I leading them to. My face gives away my uncertainties and Bernice said, " It's okay. Dont doubt yourself. I thank God you are gifted in Mandarin to serve Him here." wow, that really comforts me a lot. 

I started to understand the weight of me being the only one knowing Mandarin, as most of the people we speak to are chinese-speaking, all conversations and also prayers are led by me. It is totally out of my comfort zone leading international missionaries in prayer, furthermore is in mandarin! 

Thank you Holy Spirit for your guidance and providence. 

It's my first time experience hostility as we are ushering light into darkness.Rejection is normal, that is what I expected when I choose the mission field. But persecution, was the first time I experienced tonight from a stranger. He asked if we are here to preach the gospel and raised his voice at us, claiming that he is a Buddhist.

Honestly, I'm quite afraid.. He spoke in Chinese and none of my team know what's going on, I was the only one left to defend God and for ourselves... I replied,
"Yes, We are all believers of Jesus, but we are not forcing or preaching the gospel, we are trying to know you and be a friend. (insert wide smile here.)"
He kept quiet and look away (thank God...) and to our surprise, after being out-front and lay our cards on the table, the other guy who had been listening to our conversation dragged us aside and told us he is a Christian! He came to Singapore for 8 years and God found him 2 years ago, but he couldnt go to church due to his job commitment everyday and could only read the bible he brought here. He is thankful that his mum is a christian but his son had not receive Christ yet..
I was touched by his conviction to follow God, and our team went ahead to pray for him. :)
 

Told God that I never want to "chicken out" or striving for that seemingly peace by not defending God and speak the truth. Truth and love is needed in darkness, and we are to be bold and courageous in the Lord.

Darkness cannot consume light, when there is light, darkness flee.

As we were walking to lor 17, there was a street filled with ladies and i recalled the need to ask permission from the pimps before we could even talk to them. One of my team member from japan point to the guy on the motor bike. We were all 10 feets away from him and none of us move for a moment. I can understand why.. Golden hair, rows and rows of tattoos filled up his arms, neck and legs. It is easy to not look past all that and come to realise he is just like us, a human being longed to be valued and loved, and he IS valued and loved !! 

My legs started pacing towards him before my fears can emerged, and i used that approaching moment to pray for soften hearts, and was actually struggling for 5 seconds how i should address him.. (haha...) uncle? Bro? Sir? Or just hello/excuse me? 

I stick to uncle in the end.. Okay that's not the point, he was actually open and replied why not?! :) i turned back and smiled, "xie xie" 

If i get to see him again, i will add one more truth," ye shu ai ni" 

The last lady was from thai, and just arrived in Singapore for 2 months. She was so friendly! Smiling and brimming, kept bowing and making conversation with us. 

She has a really beautiful set of dimples and a wide big smile. But i didnt get to tell her that.. And we went on to hug her. 

Never underestimate these small little actions of love that comes from a genuine heart. It is the smallest authentic act that touches a person deepest soul. 

Went back for debrief and thankful for the friendship forged with them through this prayerwalk. It is amazing that though we are from different nations, we are bought together for a greater purpose, for His kingdom.

A heart of obedience to serve and love should comes from a heart of gratitude, as we were lost and found just like the prodigal son, and not comes from a heart that has grown cold from all the doings, similar to the elder brother's heart.

Use me beyond my 5 loaves and 2 fishes, use beyond what I have in my basket, use every inch of me, what ive owned and what u've given and equipped me, even if it means I have to get uncomfortable for you. And when that comes, may my heart be ever so soft and vulnerable, but yet also strong and courageous. 

Thank you Lord for showing me so much tonight, and used me despite my inadequacies and procrastination. 

Love you from the pluto and back! :")