Living under open heaven

O how high would I climb mountains If the mountains were where You hide O how far I'd scale the valleys If You graced the other side O how long have I chased rivers From lowly seas to where they rise Against the rush of grace descending From the source of its supply 'Cause in the highlands and the heartache You're neither more or less inclined I would search and stop at nothing You're just not that hard to find I will praise You on the mountain And I will praise You when the mountain's in my way You're the summit where my feet are So I will praise You in the valleys all the same N o less God within the shadows No less faithful when the night leads me astray You're the heaven where my heart is In the highlands and the heartache all the same O how far beneath Your glory Does Your kindness extend the path From where Your feet rest on the sunrise To where You sweep the sinner's past And O how fast would Yo...

You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every though t! O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore! When I awake each morning, you’re still with me. Psalm 139:16-18 Sometimes when I looked back at my mistakes, and the hurt I might have caused others, the times when I was impatient towards my parents, moments I did not practice wisdom and kindness, I find it really hard to love myself. Knowing the fact that God, the one who knows it all, yet still says He loves me, and not just that, but He likes me as a person, cherish me constantly in His every thought and desires me more than the grains of sand on every shore, that's something overwhelming and I can never underst...

They said love is hard. Love is scary. But most of all, love is painful. To me, love isn’t painful or scary.. it is the lack of love that is.. Sometimes we wonder why does God allows someone wonderful into our lives, teaching us how to love and be loved.. and then take it away.. but what if they aren’t ours to begin with? I got reminded of CS Lewis and her wife Joy Davidman.. they met in 1954, married in 1956.. and Joy passed on in 1960.. As quoted from Lewis in his book about her Wife passing.. he said “At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happiness looks like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that all these toys were never intended to possess my heart, that my true good is in another world, and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God's grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing its stre...

Recently been in deep thoughts on the concept of loving others, but also learning to protect and love myself. How do we manage both? God's reckless love is selfless and leaves the 99 for that one lost sheep. It taught me to stop striving to see the change now, and that no matter how much they failed you or themselves, just be there and to not withdraw your love and presence. But should your love comes at the expense of yourself, do you still go on loving and allowing yourself to be hurt over and over again? This is when boundaries come in. Boundaries aren't selfish or self-seeking. It is self-care. That I care about me too. Is telling myself to not work harder on your problems than my own. Not spending time trying to change someone who doesn't want to change. Not allowing someone to hurt me over and over again. Not allowing others to control how I spend my time and energy.  That isn't selfish, but is telling yourself that you deserve to be loved, respected a...

You will stay true even when the lies come Your word remains truth even when my thoughts don't line up I will stand tall on each promise You made Let the rest fade away There's a peace far beyond all understanding May it ever set my heart at ease Dare anxiety come, I'll remember That peace is a promise You keep You will stay true even in the chaos Your word remains truth even when my mind wreaks havoc I will be still for I've known all along My Jehovah Shalom There's a peace far beyond all understanding May it ever set my heart at ease What anxiety fails to remember Is peace is a promise You keep You are peace to a restless soul Peace when my thoughts wage war Peace to the anxious heart That's who You are, that's who You are You are peace when my fear takes hold Peace when I feel enclosed You are peace when I lose control That's who You are, that's who You are I've found peace far beyond all understanding Let it flow when my mind'...

The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing. - Zephaniah 3:17

"We are meant to become disappointed in people, just as we are meant to become disappointed in mediocre plays and books and paintings. Child-like things. Toxic things. Things that disrespect us. It is how we learn discernment. We are never cruel, but we are always moving, in smaller and smaller circles. It is painful but necessary. Loss always, for me, precedes growth." --Marlon Brando/Interview with James Grissom - The Lake of the mind

love is a safe place of shelter for it never stops believing the best for others. Love never takes failure as defeat, for it never gives up. Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love. So above all else, let love be the beautiful prize for which you run Love is  large and  incredibly patient. [ f ]   Love is gentle and consistently kind to all.  It refuses to be jealous [ g ]   when blessing comes to someone else .  Love does not brag about one’s achievements nor inflate its own importance.  5  Love does not traffic in shame and disrespect, nor selfishly seek its own honor. Love is not easily irritated [ h ]  or quick to take offense. [ i ]   6  Love joyfully celebrates honesty [ j ]  and finds no delight in what is wrong. [ k ] Come home. God of salvation You chased down my heart Through all of my failure and pride On a hill You created ...

“Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.” ‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8-9‬ ‭MSG‬‬

““Here’s another old saying that deserves a second look: ‘Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.’ Is that going to get us anywhere? Here’s what I propose: ‘Don’t hit back at all.’ If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best— the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. I...

Recently heard from a friend’s sharing about the thought collective’s take on connection.  A point that was mentioned was, people usually care about the who and the why of the leaders, while leaders often spend time on the how and the what.  “How to achieve greater heights as a group?”  “What should be the next direction?”  “What to do?”  “How to see this vision come to pass?”  As much as the how to achieve something, and what to do is important, the who you are, and why do you care as a leader matters to the people who are following.  Who are you really in reality behind all that you bring forth to your people? Are you sharing your authentic story of being in the gap? The gap between the person we want to be, being more Christ like, and the person we are in reality.  And why? Why do you care about your vision? Why do lives matter to you? Why do you care for your people? These are what matters to people on the ground.....

“The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is his name.” Exodus 15:3 “I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you.” Revelation 3:1-3 ESV “The enemies are using who have been to attack who you might be.” ~Lisa Bevere  The lord desires to speak to me more than me wanting to listen from Him. Sometimes I’m distracted by my busyness, by entertainment, by self-condemnation, by division within the church..  The word of God is to set people’s free Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. For I have bent Judah as my bow; I have made Ephraim its arrow. I will stir up your sons, O ...

Whenever I recall the mistakes I've made, I wonder how God could love me still when I find it so hard to love myself.. D oubt and despair comes from our wrong choices, but I'm thankful for tender mercies that comes from above.  I am no longer in court room, no longer on trial every single day.  His love keeps no records of wrong. It is Agape. I got to keep reminding myself that.. In the world, we perform for the verdict. If we cannot live up to our parents' standards, we can feel terrible. If I cannot live up to society standard, I feel terrible too.  Perhaps the solution is to set my own standards and keep them low? Are low standards a solution? Not at all. My feeble effort to boost my self-esteem by trying to live up to my own standards or someone else’s is a trap. It is not an answer.. It is just as Paul who does not look to the Corinthians for his identity. He does not go to them for the verdict that he is a 'somebody', such that he could get that sense of i...

Lord I come to You Let my heart be changed, renewed Flowing from the grace That I found in You. And Lord I've come to know The weaknesses I see in me Will be stripped away By the power of Your love. Hold me close Let Your love surround me Bring me near Draw me to Your side. And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle And I will soar with You Your Spirit leads me on In the power of Your love. Lord unveil my eyes Let me see You face to face The knowledge of Your love As You live in me. Lord renew my mind As Your will unfolds in my life In living every day by the power of Your love With time and trust, I’ll see the works of your hand as I know your heart, my Father “ But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Father. Okay. I don’t know how much of this I believe, but I know this, I need a Father. There is so much in my that yet needs fathering. And I don’t want to live fatherless anymore. So come and help me make that shift. You have taken me home, through Christ, to be your daughter. I accept that. I give my life back to you, to be your true daughter. Father me. Father me! How much of my life have I been misinterpreting? How much things have I been written of as “life is hard” or even as warfare, when in fact God was in it; in the difficulty, wanting to Father me? I want to be brave and true. I want a strength, and I want to offer it to others. Lead me. Restore me as the beloved child. Father me.

It is not the job of the mentor to try to fix things or to come up with clever answers to difficult questions. We are called simply to walk with people through the valleys of life and be there for them as they “trace the rainbow through the rain” The voice your wandering Brother or Sister needs most is not yours, but god’s. The hardest part of rebuking someone has not been being honest or being winsome, but has been demonstrating patience when the rebuke is ignored, or when change comes slowly.. we are impatient in rebuke because we think rebuke works more like a microwave than a crockpot. We want instant repentance and transformation, not the months or even years it often takes for God to rewire dysfunctional hearts and habits. Our rebuke will always be shallow and fleeting if we think the work is done the moment we inform a Brother or Sister of their error. We often consciously or unconsciously believe that the right set of words will set things right, and we’ll immediatel...

So much fear and uncertainty within me with regards to the upcoming retreat. My first solo trip, and only received news recently from MFA that there's recent terrorist concern in Mindanao. Yet I know this place is where my heart desires to go, and is where you're leading me to.. Only speak that I may listen; only lead where You will go. The Lord’s my banner and rearguard, With Whom my courage shall flow. He is quick to beckon, Shall my feet be slow? Of my fears and darkened nights, Only He will know. Jeremiah 12:5 “If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you,     how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting,     what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” What are the petty troubles that fall on him compared with what others suffer, with what might come on himself?  Nehemiah 4:14 And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of th...

I was cynical once, when I thought I knew everything Now that I know nothing I have hope again 

Lately I've been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I'm amazing I'm strong beyond my years But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears They don't know that I come running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while 'Coz deep inside this armor The warrior is a child Unafraid because His arrow is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest People say that I'm amazing I never face retreat, oh no But they don't see the enemies That lay me at His feet They don't know that I come running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and Look up for His smile 'Coz deep inside this armor The warrior is a child