You only have good thoughts about me

You saw who you created me to be before I became me!
Before I’d ever seen the light of day,the number of days you planned for me

were already recorded in your book.
Every single moment you are thinking of me!

How precious and wonderful to consider

that you cherish me constantly in your every thought!

O God, your desires toward me are more
than the grains of sand on every shore!
When I awake each morning, you’re still with me.


Psalm 139:16-18

Sometimes when I looked back at my mistakes, and the hurt I might have caused others, the times when I was impatient towards my parents, moments I did not practice wisdom and kindness, I find it really hard to love myself.
Knowing the fact that God, the one who knows it all, yet still says He loves me, and not just that, but He likes me as a person, cherish me constantly in His every thought and desires me more than the grains of sand on every shore, that's something overwhelming and I can never understand. 
Many time when I see the worst in myself, You see the best in me. 
You know exactly who I am created to be, and who I can be. That's why you can go on believing. 

Thank you Lord. Even as I am journaling this down, I can't help but feel so loved and undeserving even. How we see ourselves is important, but it is how God sees us that truly matters. 

"His strength is made perfect in my weakness"
“Do you know of any parent who would give his hungry child, who asked for food, a plate of rocks instead? Or when asked for a piece of fish, what parent would offer his child a snake instead? If you, imperfect as you are, know how to lovingly take care of your children and give them what’s best, how much more ready is your heavenly Father to give wonderful gifts to those who ask him?”

"The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still."

I'm trusting you Lord. You are a father who provides and validates me. I need only to be still. 

Don't give up even as times get discouraging and hearts be disheartened. Many things would not have happened if we would have given up. Chapel would not have happened in Defu if I would have given up after 2 years. 

Growth would not have happened if I would have given up laboring in prayers. 

"Don’t be pulled in different directions or worried about a thing. Be saturated in prayer throughout each day, offering your faith-filled requests before God with overflowing gratitude. Tell him every detail of your life, then God’s wonderful peace that transcends human understanding will make the answers known to you through Jesus Christ. So keep your thoughts continually fixed on all that is authentic and real, honorable and admirable, beautiful and respectful, pure and holy, merciful and kind. And fasten your thoughts on every glorious work of God, praising him always."

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