Living under open heaven

“The Lord is a man of war; the Lord is his name.” Exodus 15:3 “I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you.” Revelation 3:1-3 ESV “The enemies are using who have been to attack who you might be.” ~Lisa Bevere  The lord desires to speak to me more than me wanting to listen from Him. Sometimes I’m distracted by my busyness, by entertainment, by self-condemnation, by division within the church..  The word of God is to set people’s free Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. For I have bent Judah as my bow; I have made Ephraim its arrow. I will stir up your sons, O ...

Whenever I recall the mistakes I've made, I wonder how God could love me still when I find it so hard to love myself.. D oubt and despair comes from our wrong choices, but I'm thankful for tender mercies that comes from above.  I am no longer in court room, no longer on trial every single day.  His love keeps no records of wrong. It is Agape. I got to keep reminding myself that.. In the world, we perform for the verdict. If we cannot live up to our parents' standards, we can feel terrible. If I cannot live up to society standard, I feel terrible too.  Perhaps the solution is to set my own standards and keep them low? Are low standards a solution? Not at all. My feeble effort to boost my self-esteem by trying to live up to my own standards or someone else’s is a trap. It is not an answer.. It is just as Paul who does not look to the Corinthians for his identity. He does not go to them for the verdict that he is a 'somebody', such that he could get that sense of i...

Lord I come to You Let my heart be changed, renewed Flowing from the grace That I found in You. And Lord I've come to know The weaknesses I see in me Will be stripped away By the power of Your love. Hold me close Let Your love surround me Bring me near Draw me to Your side. And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle And I will soar with You Your Spirit leads me on In the power of Your love. Lord unveil my eyes Let me see You face to face The knowledge of Your love As You live in me. Lord renew my mind As Your will unfolds in my life In living every day by the power of Your love With time and trust, I’ll see the works of your hand as I know your heart, my Father “ But know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself; the Lord hears when I call to him.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭4:3‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Father. Okay. I don’t know how much of this I believe, but I know this, I need a Father. There is so much in my that yet needs fathering. And I don’t want to live fatherless anymore. So come and help me make that shift. You have taken me home, through Christ, to be your daughter. I accept that. I give my life back to you, to be your true daughter. Father me. Father me! How much of my life have I been misinterpreting? How much things have I been written of as “life is hard” or even as warfare, when in fact God was in it; in the difficulty, wanting to Father me? I want to be brave and true. I want a strength, and I want to offer it to others. Lead me. Restore me as the beloved child. Father me.

It is not the job of the mentor to try to fix things or to come up with clever answers to difficult questions. We are called simply to walk with people through the valleys of life and be there for them as they “trace the rainbow through the rain” The voice your wandering Brother or Sister needs most is not yours, but god’s. The hardest part of rebuking someone has not been being honest or being winsome, but has been demonstrating patience when the rebuke is ignored, or when change comes slowly.. we are impatient in rebuke because we think rebuke works more like a microwave than a crockpot. We want instant repentance and transformation, not the months or even years it often takes for God to rewire dysfunctional hearts and habits. Our rebuke will always be shallow and fleeting if we think the work is done the moment we inform a Brother or Sister of their error. We often consciously or unconsciously believe that the right set of words will set things right, and we’ll immediatel...

So much fear and uncertainty within me with regards to the upcoming retreat. My first solo trip, and only received news recently from MFA that there's recent terrorist concern in Mindanao. Yet I know this place is where my heart desires to go, and is where you're leading me to.. Only speak that I may listen; only lead where You will go. The Lord’s my banner and rearguard, With Whom my courage shall flow. He is quick to beckon, Shall my feet be slow? Of my fears and darkened nights, Only He will know. Jeremiah 12:5 “If you have raced with men on foot, and they have wearied you,     how will you compete with horses? And if in a safe land you are so trusting,     what will you do in the thicket of the Jordan?” What are the petty troubles that fall on him compared with what others suffer, with what might come on himself?  Nehemiah 4:14 And I looked and arose and said to the nobles and to the officials and to the rest of th...

I was cynical once, when I thought I knew everything Now that I know nothing I have hope again 

Lately I've been winning battles left and right But even winners can get wounded in the fight People say that I'm amazing I'm strong beyond my years But they don't see inside of me I'm hiding all the tears They don't know that I come running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and cry for just a while 'Coz deep inside this armor The warrior is a child Unafraid because His arrow is the best But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest People say that I'm amazing I never face retreat, oh no But they don't see the enemies That lay me at His feet They don't know that I come running home when I fall down They don't know who picks me up when no one is around I drop my sword and Look up for His smile 'Coz deep inside this armor The warrior is a child

Supreme Court Justice John Roberts' Unconventional Speech to His Son's Graduating Class And as far as the confidence goes, I think you will appreciate that it is not because you succeeded at everything you did, but because with the help of your friends, you were not afraid to fail. And if you did fail, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, you got up and tried again. And if you failed again, it might be time to think about doing something else. But it was not just success, but not being afraid to fail that brought you to this point. Now the commencement speakers will typically also wish you good luck and extend good wishes to you. I will not do that, and I’ll tell you why. From time to time in the years to come, I hope you will be treated unfairly, so that you will come to know the value of justice. I hope that you will suffer betrayal because that will teach you the importance of loyalty. Sorry to say, but I hope you will be lonely from time to time so t...

Shall I take from Your hand Your blessings Yet not welcome any pain? Shall I thank You for days of sunshine Yet grumble in days of rain? Shall I love You in times of plenty Then leave You in days of drought? Shall I trust when I reap a harvest But when winter winds blow, then doubt? Oh let Your will be done in me In Your love I will abide Oh I long for nothing else as long As You are glorified Are You good only when I prosper And true only when I’m filled? Are You King only when I’m carefree And God only when I’m well? You are good when I’m poor and needy You are true when I’m parched and dry You still reign in the deepest valley You’re still God in the darkest night So quiet my restless heart Quiet my restless heart Quiet my restless heart in You

I prayed for You to show me who You've set me up to be. But I realized You want to show me who You are instead. You're so much bigger than I imagine, the One that moved through many generations, and is to come. One of the song that really broke me is "Let there be light". The prayer that I'm compelled to pray faithfully for my workplace. He led me to Isaiah 43:18-19 before I embark on my career, and during kairos night, he reminded me again of that verse. His vision for me actually never changed. He convicted me to not be ashamed of my dream for him, and that I'm living in the Joseph and Isaac age when they were being placed at the altar, obeying and trusting in His promises and love. Good news embracing the poor Comfort for all those who mourn For the broken hearted Release from prison and shame Oppression turning to praise For every captive Restoring sight to the blind Breaking the curse of the night For all in darkness Procl...

我屬於你   你是我永遠的福分 只想日夜在你殿中獻上敬拜 定睛在你的榮美   世界一切變黯淡 除你以外   我還能有誰 能不能   就讓我留在你的同在裡 能不能   賜我力量讓我更多愛你 我哪都不想去   只想日夜在你殿中 獻上敬拜   全心全意來愛你

“Am I, for instance, just sidling back to God because I know that if there’s any road to H., it runs through Him?  But then of course I know perfectly well that He can’t be used as a road.  If you’re approaching Him not as the goal but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you’re not really approaching Him at all.  That’s what was really wrong with all those popular pictures of happy reunions ‘on the further shore’; not the simple-minded and very earthly images, but the fact that they make an End of what we can get only as a by-product of the true End” ~CS. Lewis

 You are my freedom, Jesus You're the reason Where would I be without You, You'v saved a wretch like me.. 24. Now i look back at my life, I see how everything is pieced together so beautifully. Even the broken pieces, how God is gathering and mending every pieces back altogether again, forming a beautiful art-piece. From my childhood, to youth, and now adulthood, He never leaves. He knows. He loves. I was both a victim of the world and a culprit of my sin, and He saves me when I could no longer do anything to this seemingly hopeless me. Could it gets any better? Yes, He'v taken me from that miry clay, and can do immeasurably more than we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within me. (Eph3:20)

Looking back, there was this night that I felt so anguish looking at my academic achievements. I regarded that as trash when i foolishly believed it plays no part in the purpose you have planned for me in this broken world. I just couldn't see. When i look at the needs out there in Singapore, and the millions of people in the world.. I felt so helpless. How useless my degree is, all that I have? Now thinking through, I repent Lord. As what CS.Lewis put it, “Can a mortal ask questions which God finds unanswerable? Quite easily, I should think. All nonsense questions are unanswerable. How many hours are in a mile? Is yellow square or round? Probably half the questions we ask - half our great theological and metaphysical problems - are like that.” My laments comprises questions perhaps are unanswerable. It's like you looking at me with love, shaking your head and said "Chill, My Child, you don't understand." I'm thankful of how much you have blessed me Lo...

It's not easy watching Jesus wash these feet. But he doesn't speak. He removes his robe and takes the servant's wrap off the wall.  Taking the pitcher, he pours the water into the basin.  He kneels before them with the basin and sponge and begins to wash.  Isn't it enough that these hands will be pierced in the morning?  Must they scrub grime tonight?  and the disciples.. do they deserve to have their feet washed?  Their affections have waned; their loyalties have wavered. You can hear them sneaking away from the soldiers. They make promises tonight. They'll make tracks tomorrow. Look around the table, Jesus. Out of the twelve, how many will stand with you in Pilate's court? How many will share with you the Roman whip? And when you fall under the weight of the cross, which disciple will be close enough to spring to your side and carry your burden? None of them will. Not one. A stranger will be called because no disciple will be near. Someti...

The treasure that I choose, is a treasure that last. Nothing I desire, could ever come close, to what I have in you. Forgive my desire, forgive every motive, forgive my intention, cause i'd rather have you. If it's not your will God, I don't even want it. Now I surrender, cause I'd rather have you.. I just want you Jesus.  Lord, I pray for my life to provoke others into godly jealousy, or to sell out more completely to Jesus, and to what Keith Green had said it. Be it just a song, the way I love and serve, my heart, what's inside and outside. Oh Lord, you're beautiful Your face is all I seek.  And when you're face in on this child,  Your grace abounds to me I wanna take your love and spread it all around first help me just to submit Lord and when i'm feeling down,  help me to rely on you for my reward is to know you more.  Search me God, and know my heart, Test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is a...

"Jesus’ story makes no economic sense, and that was his intent. He was giving us a parable about grace, which cannot be calculated like a day’s wages. Grace is not about finishing last or first; it is about not counting. We receive grace as a gift from God, not as something we toil to earn... The employer in Jesus’ story did not cheat the full-day workers by paying everyone for one hour’s work instead of twelve. No, the full-day workers got what they were promised. Their disc ontent arose from the scandalous mathematics of grace. They could not accept that their employer had the right to do what he wanted with his money when it meant paying scoundrels twelve times what they deserved. Significantly, many Christians who study this parable identify with the employees who put in a full day’s work, rather than the add-ons at the end of the day. We like to think of ourselves as responsible workers, and the employer’s strange behavior baffles us as it did the original hearers. We ...

When we arrive at eternity's shore Where death is just a memory and tears are no more We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful Like a bride waiting for the groom, we'all be a church waiting for you Every heart longing for our King..

I am the woman at the well, taken aback that this man would dare to be seen with me. 
I am Zaccheus, standing at a distance and hoping to catch a glimpse of the Messiah.
 I am Peter, promising I would never deny Him and then turning around to do exactly that.
 I am Peter, weeping when I meet Jesus’ eyes and realize that I have failed and failed big, again.
 I am Martha, running around trying to guarantee my worth and everyone else’s happiness. 
I am Mary, collapsing at His feet because I am so desperate for His presence. 
I am the adulterous woman, standing guilty for all the world to see.
I am the bleeding woman, utterly incapable of healing what ails me. 
I am a mess, in process, just like all of them. Looking through its pages, I see pieces of me all through God’s Book. 2 cor 1:19-22 19 "For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, who was preached among you by us —by me and Silas and Timothy—was not “Yes” and “No,” but in him it has always been “Yes.”. For no matter how many promises G...