Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength

"'Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your mind, and with all your soul and with all your strength.' 
-Matthew 22:37

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;'
    your works are wonderful,    I know that full well."
-Psalm 139

"No one in military service gets entangled in matters of everyday life; otherwise he will not please the one who recruited him."

-2 Tim 2:4

Doubt and insecurity come like a giant. When there's a new trigger, be it being passed up for a promotion, fail in a new endeavor, read a negative review, let someone down, disappointed a loved one, being misunderstood, overlooked, criticized, or not living up to someone’s expectations, what is your mind focus on? 

 Are you living for the world's approval, when knowing you have already gained His verdict? 

 I now love and serve on the basis of the verdict. Because He loves me and He accepts me, I do not have to do things just to meet people's expectations and tick off the list of what makes a "good Christian". I can do things for the joy of doing them. I can help people to help people, not so I can feel better about myself for doing what others expect of me as a Christian, not because I have to defend God when I desired to be more like Him. When I see the worst in myself or in others, I know God is up to something, to further conforming me to his image.

There were days where I felt terrible about myself, with lies intruding me that I failed as a Christian. Be it failing to meet the expectation of others, not doing enough, not being enough, and sometimes because of my sin that just so easily entangles me. 
"I am a Saint in the making", such a reminder is so needed. Before the God almighty, this warrior is just a child. Without Him, I am nobody. Yet in Him, I have everything. 


"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
-Hebrews 12:1-3

Have I been focusing too much on myself and my weaknesses? My focus should be on Him. If I were to doubt and blame myself when I failed and things fall apart, does it mean I could take the credit when things go well and I have succeeded? Shouldn't God be taking all the glory?

Reminded of my prayer made in 2016. For God to use all that I have in the basket, my 5 loaves and 2 fishes, my "not so awesome" degree, my strength, my weaknesses, my experiences, and my past all for His glory. It is easy to focus on how small I am and be doubtful over what I have to offer and forget how big God is. That because of Him, the weak says I am strong, that I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. His power is made perfect in your weakness, and His grace is sufficient for you. Instead of focusing on what I cant do for not being gifted/smart/confident enough, I can always try again because of the grace of God. 

Dear Lord, each time I doubt myself, remind me again of that conscious choice to choose you every single day. To love you with all my heart, with all my mind, with all my soul, and with all my strength. In all my limitations, I trust in your grace and I let you own my life Lord. 

"The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in Him, though he may stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."
-Psalm 37: 23-24

“For I am sure of this very thing, that the one who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 1:6 NET

As God increases our impact, influence, and fruitfulness, the enemy steps up his effort to take us out. However, He is at work completing us, we will be mature and complete, not lacking anything. When we understand that when we’re being challenged and are at the end of our rope, remember that God brought us to this moment on purpose, to prepare us for our future, and be confident that God will be faithful to lead us to step by step to who He calls us to be. 


Oh Lord, you're beautiful,

Your face is all I see,
For when your eyes are on this child
Your grace abounds to me
I want to take your word and shine it all around

But first help me to just, live it Lord
And when I'm doing well, help me to never seek a crown
For my reward is giving glory to you
Oh Lord, please light the fire

That once burned bright and clean
Replace the lamp of my first love
That burns with holy fear


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