Cost of being a christian
actually posted something similar around 1 year ago, in 2012..
how scared I was to let my parents know that I'm a Christian due to persecution.
I always imaged my mum threatening to kill herself or chase me out of the house, hitting me until I swear that I'm not going to church.. know this is kinda exaggerating.. but I know my mum very well, and have seen her lose her temper before.. from scolding vulgarities to screaming words that hurts..
after reflecting upon what happened, I have to say that God's plan is higher than my plan, his way is higher than my way..
Isaiah 55:8-9
8 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I always wonder when my parents will know, and how will that day be like.. God has been preparing me all along. and choosing 20december2013, the Christmas service night for me to proclaim my faith to my mum and this is a perfect time that God has choose..
Though I always wanted to wait until I'm 21 years old, but it is actually better to said it that day!
This is because it is near my birthday period, and my mum knew it when my sister told her that I've been going somewhere and I'm hiding it from her..
I asked God for a sign, if my mum ask me bluntly about what my sis said, I will tell her..
and yup, I told her I went to church, my sis went on to tell her that I've been going for many many years.. definitely this make things worse and she is even more upset..
but.. there are so many things I want to thank God for! He has made a miracle in my family!
Firstly, my mum did not lay a finger on me, so unlike her that even though she knows I've been hiding from her for years, her reaction was more calm that what I've expected..
No vulgarities, she did not try to be unreasonable but actually willing to hear me out and talk things out. Whoa! praise the Lord~ xD
Next, after years of demanding and threatening me about me going to church, my sister finally feel bad and sorry on that night.. she asked me if I ever blame her, I said no..
she asked me why do I not say another place instead of church.. I said I don't want to lie, it's not right.
She cried and apologize for doing this on my birthday.. and she said" I'm ok with you being a Christian already"
it really touches me because this is so so so not her!!! she will never do or say something like this. this is indeed God trying to do something, softening her heart.
for the first time she gave me a gift; a bookmark, saying: "with God, everything is possible"
and this gift from her seems to tell me that my sister have acknowledged God..
perhaps God is trying to speak to me not to give up, everything is possible with Him, even when it comes to touching my family members' heart.
Come to think of it, one week before the Christmas service, I was still sharing (and crying at the same time..) with my LG and sheep during the nus camp, that I was very upset..
"When is God gonna touch my family? When is there gonna be a change in my situation?
When Is the time that Jesus can touched my family like how He had touched the 10 lepers?
If Jesus has compassion on His people, then why is my family still like that? forcing me to take joss sticks with my sister threatening me from going church camp. Don't you have compassion on me as well? can u please do something almighty father?! "
I cry out to God during the camp and one week later, my family knew. God really listen and is doing something at the back. (:
I'm still in the midst of persecution because my mum is still not soften towards Christianity and church, but I believe this is something God wants me to go through so that I will grow.
and He loves me so much that he gave his only son for me when I don't deserve it, what's more?
With this love, he will definitely pull me though and go though it with me.
Lastly, I want to thank God for the people around me during this tough time, especially my shepherd, Lg, my sheep.. ruijun and even non-church people!
When I'm being barred from going out, they came all the way to my house to surprise me for my birthday! so touched especially when jiajia and grace lived at the east, and kester, rich cancelled their lunch and gym plans to come my house.
and wee keong practiced and sang a happy bday song with the ukulele I gave him..
huiwei and yvoone travelled from work and take abt 1&30 mins to come..
even nonchurch people asked me to have faith and hang on! :'')
encouragement from merly, ruijun and wenmin.
and also a heartfelt prayer from Liwei, and Aileen.
when 2 or more people comes together and pray, God will listen.
"I have decided, to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.."
neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord.
9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
I always wonder when my parents will know, and how will that day be like.. God has been preparing me all along. and choosing 20december2013, the Christmas service night for me to proclaim my faith to my mum and this is a perfect time that God has choose..
Though I always wanted to wait until I'm 21 years old, but it is actually better to said it that day!
This is because it is near my birthday period, and my mum knew it when my sister told her that I've been going somewhere and I'm hiding it from her..
I asked God for a sign, if my mum ask me bluntly about what my sis said, I will tell her..
and yup, I told her I went to church, my sis went on to tell her that I've been going for many many years.. definitely this make things worse and she is even more upset..
but.. there are so many things I want to thank God for! He has made a miracle in my family!
Firstly, my mum did not lay a finger on me, so unlike her that even though she knows I've been hiding from her for years, her reaction was more calm that what I've expected..
No vulgarities, she did not try to be unreasonable but actually willing to hear me out and talk things out. Whoa! praise the Lord~ xD
Next, after years of demanding and threatening me about me going to church, my sister finally feel bad and sorry on that night.. she asked me if I ever blame her, I said no..
she asked me why do I not say another place instead of church.. I said I don't want to lie, it's not right.
She cried and apologize for doing this on my birthday.. and she said" I'm ok with you being a Christian already"
it really touches me because this is so so so not her!!! she will never do or say something like this. this is indeed God trying to do something, softening her heart.
for the first time she gave me a gift; a bookmark, saying: "with God, everything is possible"
and this gift from her seems to tell me that my sister have acknowledged God..
perhaps God is trying to speak to me not to give up, everything is possible with Him, even when it comes to touching my family members' heart.
Come to think of it, one week before the Christmas service, I was still sharing (and crying at the same time..) with my LG and sheep during the nus camp, that I was very upset..
"When is God gonna touch my family? When is there gonna be a change in my situation?
When Is the time that Jesus can touched my family like how He had touched the 10 lepers?
If Jesus has compassion on His people, then why is my family still like that? forcing me to take joss sticks with my sister threatening me from going church camp. Don't you have compassion on me as well? can u please do something almighty father?! "
I cry out to God during the camp and one week later, my family knew. God really listen and is doing something at the back. (:
I'm still in the midst of persecution because my mum is still not soften towards Christianity and church, but I believe this is something God wants me to go through so that I will grow.
and He loves me so much that he gave his only son for me when I don't deserve it, what's more?
With this love, he will definitely pull me though and go though it with me.
Lastly, I want to thank God for the people around me during this tough time, especially my shepherd, Lg, my sheep.. ruijun and even non-church people!
When I'm being barred from going out, they came all the way to my house to surprise me for my birthday! so touched especially when jiajia and grace lived at the east, and kester, rich cancelled their lunch and gym plans to come my house.
and wee keong practiced and sang a happy bday song with the ukulele I gave him..
huiwei and yvoone travelled from work and take abt 1&30 mins to come..
even nonchurch people asked me to have faith and hang on! :'')
encouragement from merly, ruijun and wenmin.
and also a heartfelt prayer from Liwei, and Aileen.
when 2 or more people comes together and pray, God will listen.
"I have decided, to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.."
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