Living under open heaven

You saw who you created me to be before I became me! Before I’d ever seen the light of day, the number of days you planned for me were already recorded in your book. Every single moment you are thinking of me! How precious and wonderful to consider that you cherish me constantly in your every though t! O God, your desires toward me are more than the grains of sand on every shore! When I awake each morning, you’re still with me. Psalm 139:16-18 Sometimes when I looked back at my mistakes, and the hurt I might have caused others, the times when I was impatient towards my parents, moments I did not practice wisdom and kindness, I find it really hard to love myself. Knowing the fact that God, the one who knows it all, yet still says He loves me, and not just that, but He likes me as a person, cherish me constantly in His every thought and desires me more than the grains of sand on every shore, that's something overwhelming and I can never underst...

They said love is hard. Love is scary. But most of all, love is painful. To me, love isn’t painful or scary.. it is the lack of love that is.. Sometimes we wonder why does God allows someone wonderful into our lives, teaching us how to love and be loved.. and then take it away.. but what if they aren’t ours to begin with? I got reminded of CS Lewis and her wife Joy Davidman.. they met in 1954, married in 1956.. and Joy passed on in 1960.. As quoted from Lewis in his book about her Wife passing.. he said “At first I am overwhelmed, and all my little happiness looks like broken toys. Then, slowly and reluctantly, bit by bit, I try to bring myself into the frame of mind that I should be in at all times. I remind myself that all these toys were never intended to possess my heart, that my true good is in another world, and my only real treasure is Christ. And perhaps, by God's grace, I succeed, and for a day or two become a creature consciously dependent on God and drawing its stre...